This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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