Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
