so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
P.S. I can't hear my feet
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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