I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
