my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
