It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
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I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
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I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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