think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
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I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
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Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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