Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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