I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
