Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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