Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
