I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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