so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We got so high we made milksteak
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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