i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
