guys are not supposed to queef...right?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
They are going to name an STD after you.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
