Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I think a kid would responsible me up
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
