I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
