we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
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Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
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I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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