3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Welp...herpes.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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