we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
