That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
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She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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