life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
