TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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