Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
