But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
