I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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