I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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