just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
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strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
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The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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