No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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