sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
