i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
