I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
