We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
