You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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