Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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