Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
