They have a pepper shaker for pot.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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