no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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