i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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