Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
