I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
