Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
