i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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