I think im going to throw up on grandma
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
