you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Randomize
