Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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