Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
