You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
