hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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