I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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