I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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