and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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