Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
