i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
