ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
