My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
thus making me awesome and them whores
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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