I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
