were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
