Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
