Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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