i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
