is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
