Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
