Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
