Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
