this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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