Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
