two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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