i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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