i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
