i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
