Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
