where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
