do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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