he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I have fence marks all over my body
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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